Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Granola Games

Once reserved to the West Coast and college campuses, the hippie has descended upon mainstream America. Oftentimes seen in the prone position, these crunchy, groovy folk get sporty sometimes. Here are the top ways wookies break a sweat, other than at a "Cheese" show.

1) More than anything, hippies love to dance. While technically not a sport, the reality that ballroom dancing is an Olympic sport, makes the case. Often times referred to as "noodling," this dancing can be described as flailing one's arms about, while doing the Axl Rose slither.

2) One of the many times hippies gather in a circle; hacky-sack games usually feature a dreaded guy, and at least one ex-soccer washout. Beloved for its simplicity, and opportunity for individual artistry, if you smell patchouli, you can find a hacky-sack.

3) Bereft of the dress code and etiquette of real golf, disc golf offers the hippie the chance for a beautiful walk unspoiled by a white ball. Advanced discheads carry a driver, fairway and greens discs, along with usual accoutrements favored by the granola crowd.

4) Hippies love to hike, whether it's to the next show, or to the campsite. Not necessarily in a competitive fashion, hippies often take their time strolling through nature appreciating God's green earth.
5) Come upon a gathering of these sorts and you are certain to find a poorly dressed chick hula hooping. Not just dancing with tube around your waist, it is a beautiful form of self-expression. If you believe that, you crunch with the best of them.

6) Ultimate Frisbee nearly misses the leafy-ness needed for this list, but its ubiquity on college campuses stamps it, hippie-approved. More aggressive, and needing teamwork, unlike many of these solitary pursuits, Ultimate is for the alpha hippie.